Hello friends,
this is a very important message to the entire world. Tina Fey has been quoted as saying that if McCain wins she is leaving the planet (it is no longer enough to simply move to Canada). Well, I’m afraid that even the incomparable Tina Fey may be too optimistic, or may be misunderestimating the gravity of the situation.
You see, dear readers, I have to inform you of the *real* danger we face if McCain should win. Many esteemed scientists say that there is a high likelihood that his victory would cause a fatal rupture in the Space/Time Continuum, causing the universe as we know it to end abruptly upon the closing of the polls. As you can imagine, this scenario is less than desirable. I won’t even go into the whole Palin situation, because her mere candidacy makes the edges of my universe wobble threateningly. I may just self-combust if those two are sent to the White House. I don’t believe in god, but if there is one, if you’re out there, you know what to do tomorrow. Listen, look, learn, figure it out, and let any misguided panic attacks flee from under the toes of their victims, allowing their brains to uncloud, and therefore permitting them to cast the only thinkable vote.
SO GET OUT AND VOTE FOR OBAMA!!!!!!!
GO BARACK, WE LOVE YOU, WE BELIEVE IN YOU, WE THINK YOU’LL BE THE BEST PRESIDENT EVER! WE’RE BEHIND YOU 100% AND WE WILL SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!
Here’s the ticket I would love to see:
Barack for President
Tina Fey Secretary of Everything That Counts
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